'Living as a Nobody' – The Struggles of Young Adults in Singapore

A recent post on the r/askSingapore subReddit has resonated with many, capturing the feelings of inadequacy experienced by young adults in a hyper-competitive society.

The user lamented about feeling like “a nobody” in Singapore, highlighting the pressure to succeed amidst a backdrop of peers who seem to have achieved their dreams.

This sentiment reflects a broader issue of comparison culture that permeates the lives of students and young professionals in the nation.

The Burden of Comparison

In his post, the user articulated a familiar narrative among Singaporean youth: they relentlessly compare themselves with peers who seem to have found their “moment” of success. Singapore’s education system ingrains the pressure to excel, where academic achievements often serve as the primary measure of success.

From a young age, students face high-stakes exams, leading many to feel that their self-worth ties directly to their academic performance. Children as young as ten often report test anxiety. According to a report by the Institute of Mental Health, nearly 1 in 3 Singaporean youths experiences mental health issues, often exacerbated by competition pressures and societal expectations.

The Impact of High Competition

Experts frequently rank Singapore as one of the most competitive countries in the world, and this fierce competition extends beyond academics. Young adults encounter intense pressure to secure prestigious jobs, gain scholarships, and achieve rapid career advancement. This environment fosters a toxic habit of comparison, where individuals continuously measure their worth against the achievements of others.

“The real effects of untreated mental health conditions among youth will extend well into adulthood when they are less able to obtain rewarding and high-paying jobs due to poor school performance and other challenges resulting from their illness,” said Professor Eric Finkelstein, a health economist from Duke-NUS’ Health Services & Systems Research (HSSR) program and senior author of a study.

The Reddit user’s narrative encapsulates this struggle, as he expressed fears of never finding fulfillment and the thought of remaining unremarkable throughout his life.

Commenters’ Advice

Users on Reddit filled the comments section of the post with relevant advice, shared similar experiences, and offered insights to help the student with his plight.

Many highlighted the topic of comparison being a factor behind the OP’s feelings of inadequacy.

Older individuals with more life experiences gave their take on the topic, adding relevant advice and real-life examples.

Some users questioned the OP’s wish to be ‘somebody,’ with one presenting suggestions.

A handful of users shared having the same struggles, mentioning that OP was not alone in the sentiment.

Lastly, a user highlighted the importance of having loved ones by one’s side, a crucial, yet forgotten aspect in fast-paced lives.

Breaking the Cycle

To address these challenges, both parents and educators must foster a more supportive environment that values diverse talents and achievements beyond academics. Encouraging young people to pursue interests outside traditional educational paths can help alleviate some of the pressure they face.

The experience shared by the Reddit user reflects a broader societal issue in Singapore, highlighting the need for a cultural shift toward a more holistic understanding of success. By recognizing and addressing the mental health implications of an overly competitive environment, Singapore can better support its youth in navigating their paths toward fulfillment and happiness.